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I find this joy in unleashing my inner thoughts and what I think about blogsphere. You know I have a lot to say about people and blogs after a year of blogging.....I really learn some interesting facts.
Today's subject is about "Being Real".
How many of us are willing to unveil "how we really feel", "who we really are" and "what is really going through our mind"?
Heck! Those are some tough questions that I can't even answer.
As a non-professional blogger, I do set my limits as to what I feel comfortable sharing with you and the world. First off, I do not have enough courage to put my bare naked face without "any" makeup up on this blog. Next up, I am not willing to reveal my real name / where I live / what profession I have or even pets' names, and last but not least you are not going to see the full faced pictures of my family members (husband/daughter and etc.) at the moment. I have a safety concern about revealing personal data to the whole wide world but one thing you can rest assured - all the feelings I share here with you come from my heart and are as real as they can be. They reflect who I really am as a person.
I have a mixed feeling about "being real" particularly about bloggers' appearance: how they dress/how they look here. To me, blogging is like a chanel of one's expression and freedom of speech.
Of course, I do not look all glammed with full makeup like in the photos shown on this blog 7 days a week in real life. I am an average woman, a mom, a career woman, a maid at home and a very busy person trying to juggle 100 things in one day but at least for this blog I want to look pretty in the photos.
Does that mean I am fake and shallow?
Do I have to show my bare face, freckles, sun spots, broken veins and wrinkles to prove that I am oh-so-real?
You know it is funny. People will judge you whether you are being secretive or revealing too much information. Let's admit it, we judge..some do more than another.
There are bloggers who buy or wear clothes just for blog photos, but do not wear those clothes in real life. Does that sound a bit extreme? "Yes", but it is not my business. Whatever reason they do that for, it is their life..their money. Are they fake for wearing what they don't normally wear in real life? In my opinion, no. Like I said, this is a channel if expression. They express what they want to wear in their world. At the end, it is someone else's blog, not mine. If I don't like, I just don't read.
As far as my clothes / bags / shoes you see here, I bought them because they reflect "my style" and I like them. I am not a style expert nor a wannabe fashion blogger. I show you what I like and what I wear. If you have read my blog long enough, you know I am not a type of person who buys what others buy. I have rather a strong preference of style particularly feminine and edgy clothing. I do not have all the fabulous new and hot-now pieces to share because my shopping spree goes through phases. At some point you will see a full episode of outfit posts. Then no clothes related posts for a few weeks. I do not have a generous budget to buy clothes/bags/shoes just for blog photos that I can't wear in real life.
To sum things up, I am not sure if I am being "fake" by anyone's standard but I am happy with the line I drew between blog world and real world.
Now tell me - how real can you be?
In my future post, how about annoying people in the blogsphere? Let's see how many more followers I will lose :D
You know yourself better than anyone, Nelah. I hope issues like this won't keep you from typing down your thoughts and posting your inspiring made-up and pretty shots :)
ReplyDeleteI myself drew a line between blogging and reality. No one can ever be right to set standards on how you should be blogging. If they don't like what they see here, there's always the X button on the tab, rrright?
gosh I do feel like I share too much on my life and family! =D I think it's important to be who yo are and not just do or buy stuff for others..I cant imagine buying stuff just to blog or for others to see..bc seriously who has all that money! I seriously dont think you will lose any readers because you are being honest and not too many are these days =)
ReplyDeleteYvonne: you know I love your blog girl. The main reason I don't share those information is because I have no idea who read or see this blog. There may be some bad guys who are looking to steal your personal data to crack your password and stuff.
ReplyDeleteJust a friendly word of warning to everyone: you know most of us use our child's name or bday/city where we were born, our birthday, our favorite colors or even pet's name for our password so be "very" careful about it. Plus once your info is out thete where the world can see, it is there permanently.
Hi Nelah!
ReplyDeleteThis is a really good topic. Thanks for being so honest. I feel like a blog is supposed to be what you want it to be. I have clothes that I wear at home, work, and what I wish I could wear. I buy clothes that I love, but not for blogging purposes. I buy them for me. It seems like there can be a "pressure" to become something you aren't when a blog takes off.
I don't feel comfortable showing my family members face. I did a post about a trip I took (and emailed all the people in the pics for permission before I posted it). You just never know - I feel like I seem vain because it's always me, me, me in the pics but I don't want to jeopardize any kind of safety. When I first started my blog, I didn't have my occupation or pet's info. Slowly, I've added it. I don't know, maybe that was bad. Anyways, thanks for the thought provoking post!
xo, sam
You bring up some great points Nelah! It's important to be TRUE to yourself. That's where it begins and what makes each one of us unique. Show, do and reveal what you're comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is suppose to be FUN and many have gotten away from that. Some people are SO serious they would do anything. I would hate to see anyone go in debt, just to get a business deal. Some bloggers are contacted and RECEIVE fancy clothes from designers/companies. Some are not buying them at all. So as a blogger, you have to use common sense. Is she REALLY buying all this stuff or is the designer/store sending her things to wear? And then you can't pass judgement if she's buying it (there are so many variables...is she rich?...has she always shopped every weekend?...do her parents give her money for this hobby so she won't have to use hers?...i think the sad case is she's spending money that's allocated for something else on clothes to keep up with others.) You don't have to do a clothes post everyday. Talk about other things! HAHAHA Fashion magazines talk about an array of things. :)
Though I haven't spent much time in the fashion blogger world, I've noticed some people will tell you ANYTHING. You could have a chicken on top of your head and they'll say that's BEAUTIFUL. So you have to take comments with a grain of salt also. If I don't like something, I won't comment about it. If I don't agree with a post, I simply go on to the next one.
I choose to be very real. That's why I do video (what you see is what you get) and use the things I have (and recommend only things I like, tried and truly believe in). Of course I will not give you the layout to my house, address, telephone number etc. But I think I give my readers enough that they know I'm an honest individual. I try to be as transparent as possible. Great post girl! ((HUG))
http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/
SassyUptownChic xoxo Kim
Hmm, I m quite paranoid when it comes to sharing personal details online. I definitely would not be happy in sharing my real name or location.
ReplyDeleteIn terms of fashion related posts, I think there is to some extent there is a grain of "fakeness". Generally, people don't like reading or seeing gory or ugly stuff. And blog site is a perfect place for sharing or showcasing something nice or pleasurable to the eyes. The clothes and the bags or the shoes that I have, are worn, some more often than others. There are some that are not worn that much not because I don't like them, just haven't found the right occasion. I would say, in terms of dressing, there are definitely more days that I enjoy lazying around in the house wearing a faded pair of shorts and a T-shirt with lots of holes in it (not fashion intended but more of wear and tear related). I could post something about that but some people might call me an idiot or a nutter.
I had to laugh (not evil laughter but funny haha one btw) at SassyUptownChic's comment that some people will tell you anything, even a chicken on the head is nice... I have to agree with her on that statement that some people would just say that for the sake of saying something. On the hand, I have several personal experience of people commenting that I have got NO style or SHIT style for that matter. (Usually, anonymous commentors). Perhaps, a nice word or even no comment at all would be better than that. This has to fall under the "annoying' people category.
OMG. Is Nelah your pseudo name? I thought it was real. :P
Oooo Nelah...wait maybe your name is Halen...spelled backwards or Helan scrambled into Nelah! Ah-ha see I am on to you! You know, I think you can be as real or as fake as you want to be on a blog. It is your creative corner and you can say whatever it is you would like. I think you are smart to keep your privacy, and nothing wrong with not showing pix of your daughter and your husband. In this day in age, there are a lot of strange folks out there. Also, just like you, while ALL of my fans are dying to see what my mom looks like..she's got reservations about it. Do you know how many pictures we've taken and she's still on the fence?
ReplyDeleteAs for the clothes, I think you've done a great job with showing us your different looks for various occasions. I try to cater to a wider set of individuals because that is what a "runway," is. Are there things on there I would not normally gravitate towards if I didn't have a blog? Yup..you bet, but I have to experiment. And with my blog, I've wanted to challenge myself to see what else I can do? I will say that I've learned that I do like more different colours I thought I would, and styles as well. I do wear the majority of the outfits you see, and I will admit if I feel like hmmm this is a bit mature for my taste, I will say it. You either love me or you don't...it's just that simple! Now...I cannot wait for the how annoying post? Are we going to address the 1 or 2 word comments of nice top, lovely blog, how cute, Cool, and then follow me and i'll follow you? Still trying to figure out how to best address those 1 liners or 1 worders...is that even a word? lol!
Hi Nelah,
ReplyDeleteI was prepared for more text in this post. I feel so embarrassed that sometimes my comment goes longer than the post itself and that my text-heavy post (on my own blog) are truly heavy. I’m always surprised when quite a number of people (including you) tell me that they really read up till the end.
Well, I’m gonna time myself right now to see how long I take to compose this comment and I highly suspect an essay. Time 11:59pm (SGT)
I feel that the limits you set on your the blog is reasonably sound.
Firstly on bare naked face. I also know of people who do not want to show their bare naked face on the WWW. Some do not dare. Some are so used to make up that they are afraid their naked face would scare people. Some simply do not want to. Whichever the case, it’s not for us readers to judge. I must say that I really admire popular bloggers who dare to bare their naked face and are so cool about it. On the other spectrum, there are some popular bloggers who insist that they went out for supper with their bare naked face but their eyes obviously have got fake lashes on. Whichever way, people would still talk. Either extremes, people would still judge. Take for eg, I saw this blogger’s photo of her swimming and she was w/o make up. Some readers actually said nasty things like “You look like shit w/o make up.” Then a separate blogger posted of her swimming in the pool with her fake lashes and make up on. Some readers commented that she’s so vain that she even wore make up to the pool. We can never please everyone so just do what you’re comfortable with.
For me, I think I look very different with and w/o make up coz you know, for people who line their bottom lash line, having no make up on makes a great deal of difference. There was once I had mascara but no lined bottom lash line, many colleagues asked if I was sick. However, friends who know me from way back always think I look just fine w/o make up. I try as much as possible not to have photos of me sans make up on my blog but after some time, I did not really care and many of my Maldives photos in water all had got no make up on. Some of my indoor shots at home or in hotel rooms too. I wanted my post to tell a story so I just posted these photos up for continuity. Being afraid I would scare off my readers, I’d to indicate that I’ve got no make up on. In the end, I felt I worry too much and I think I’ll be really cool with posting any ugly pictures of myself.
I had to break my comments onto parts coz blogger didn't accept it! Fortunately I drafted in on Word Doc.
ReplyDeleteOn revealing real name and other personal details on www. I really think it depends on what your blog is about and how comfortable you are with sharing these information. I slowly revealed more personal data about me after years of blogging though for name, I tend to use my short form name and I won’t reveal the full English plus Chinese name plus surname. I did not reveal exactly what I did at work until I’m outta the company. This applied for my first job too. I try not to type out full details in text too coz it’s easy for search engine to crawl these text. I’ve got a tracker so I could see how innocuous words could lead to my blog as 1st page on Google w/o having the intention to. Hence, I tried to modify keywords consciously when I draft my post. I did not use to type out my friends’ first names too. It was initials all along. I did ask some of them if they’re ok with me featuring their photos on my blog and everyone was cool about it. Usually when first names (English names) are used on my blog, it’s coz these friends are the more open ones on blogosphere or have their own blogs too.
Many things changed after my god daughter’s plight went public. I think you’ve read about this as I’ve written about it before. I was so easily searched by every single keyword related to her. What was so heartwarming was that all these strangers started leaving me very encouraging words and some have been reading me up till now. After that, I started using first names (English names) on my blog and very casually typed about other stuff that some people may already have known and it was no use hiding it on my blog. I even answered some of their questions.
I also started realising how some people got to my blog and when a handful asked me the same questions, I would actually dedicate a post to answer them so I could treat that post as a one-stop answer to direct them to. I also slowly started to blog for people. Blogging to update my friends. Blogging about interesting stuff to share with people. Have I started to lose myself by blogging FOR people? I don’t think so. Yet there are also some people who slowly lose themselves while blogging for people too. I guess one must know how to balance it all.
12:24am now.
I agree about why we should not reveal too much personal info on WWW. You know, I absolutely hate those secret questions. Now FB keeps saying my security is dangerously low coz I dun have that secret question thingy. But hey... look at the questions: What is my pet’s name? What is the first school I go to? What is my mother’s maiden name? When is my child’s birthday? HOW CAN ANYONE USE THESE AS SECRET QUESTIONS? I do think my a/c is safe enough with just my password. Adding these secret questions would only make it easier for people to hack.
ReplyDeleteAs for revealing too much personal info for other reasons other than making it easier to hack...
I know of some mummy bloggers who closed down their blog coz they worry for their kids. They posted photos and even names of their kids and I guess it’s really quite dangerous if malicious people want to have something out from this. Some started removing photos of their family. But for me, I don’t see a danger in it all. I guess Singapore is a relatively safe place.
Going on to bloggers and their outfits... I love to look at artistic outfit shots a lot to gain inspiration but when I see some fashion bloggers outfit, I often wonder if they really wear such clothes out. Also, some seem to have photographer tagging along to snap all their everyday activities. It’s fun to voyeur but I wonder if they’ve become mini celebs with PG tagging along them and snapping pics of them walking in the streets, having tea etc. I often wonder if their lives have revolved around their blog. Some of them have such gorgeous shoes but I think of myself wearing such shoes and commuting to work, I really can’t imagine at all. I would actually start to wonder if this is really what they wore and is this really their daily life. Some of them might reveal their occupations but when I look at all the designer labels or the way they dress, I really wonder if they are clad in such togs to go to work as their said-profession. It simply doesn’t make sense. Still, I love to look at such pictures and if there’s positive things to say, I would say. If not, I would just shut up. I would not think of leaving some negative comments or anything or hide behind the anonymous mask to lash out at them.
I have always felt you are a very real person no matter what your post is about so no worries, I know you are a very genuine person. It’s evident in your words. Please continue blogging the way you;re comfortable with. You know, I really can’t wait for your annoying people in blogosphere post. I think my thoughts would be longer than this. I think by then, you would so loathe seeing a comment from me. lol... Oh yes and you know what, if you lose followers just because of what you have written, you would know they’re not really worth it and they these are not the type of readers you want. I’ve wanted to write a post on this too and I know I would risk losing readers or probably have some anon posting nasty stuff but I won’t care. Let’s see if I would find the time to write coz there are simply too many things to write about this topic.
12:42am
With that I kick myself off your page for now. But... I'll be back to see whether we agree on the annoying list.
Boy this post gets better and better response/comments!! I would like to pin Kim of SassyUpTownChic 's comment as "I so freaking agree with every word in your comment!"...muahxx :D. Perhaps we should join force and collaborate about "Ugly things in the blogsphere" hehehe. That will be a hit.
ReplyDeletePeh Sun: So so true, I for one dont want to see unpleasant things. Most of us read blogs or fashion magazines to unleash stress and search for something extraordinary. I also don't see the point in posting a photo of me in my slouchy/cleaning lady outfit.
Bessie: I like your blog because you are talented and creative in fashion. All of your clothes I find them to be wearable in real life. You are doing good lady. Everything you try work for you and your confidence show when you wear them. Keep them coming.
PS:
ReplyDeleteThe word verification to type for the last comment up there sounded like blogger wantd to condemn me... The word was "condamph".
So sorry for being so random btu I can't help sharing this information.
Jo..Jo...Jo: girl you know when I post something like this. Here is a list of people who I anticipate to read: you, Peh Sun, Bessie of Bravoe Runway, Kim of SassyUptownChic. You ladies have some brilliant/bold/honnest/spicy kind of words which I ADORE to death and struck me hard everytime. Don't you dare stop commenting here..hehe. Jo, as always I love your essay and couldn't agree more. BTW,I am working on that list for ya.
ReplyDeleteThis is for Jo: OH my freaking word, how can you write so much. You're spamming Nelah...i mean Helan's message box!!!!!...and they (the comments) all make so much sense too.
ReplyDeleteHi Nelah! I love to blog for myself because it's fun and I can talk about random things and if other people want to read and follow then great! If not, you are welcome to not read. : ) heehee...I have always loved to journal and to me blogging is similar to that. But yes, my blog is waaaay less personal than my own private journal. However, it's amazing how close you can feel to your followers or to the authors of blogs you follow. I love that.
ReplyDeleteNow....I can't WAIT to hear what you have to say about the annoying people in blogland!! : )
OMG- I have so many thoughts running through my head that I don't know where to start. Okay, i'll start here. When I first started my blog, I wanted to be as real as possible. I have pics of me with no makeup on (my hideous before shots), pictures of me doing nasty things to hoses and balancing soccer balls on my head. My blog, scary enough, is almost like a journal, of what I did during the week, what I wore. I don't think of the consequences of posting the pics, but maybe I should. I don't even postmark any of them so my face could end up on some porn site, what a lovely thought. My co-workers always say that the way I blog definitely reflects who I am (the swearing, the inappropriateness, the goofy pics), so that's reassuring to me that what you see is what you get. And you, my dear Nelah/Helen/gorgeous mommy are definitely real in my eyes. Your blog is successful because everyone sees it too. It's posts like this that make me super happy to have met you. I truly believe that words change lives, you definitely reflect that with your blog :) Thanks so much for the post! And BTW- JO is awesome- I think that she definitely gets the award for longest comment ever :)
ReplyDeletei am a lot like u. heck you're way more "real" than me since i don't even want to show my face on my blog. i don't post my real name either. perhaps i'm just paranoid. but regardless of all that, i think i am real in the sense that i am not making up anything i am writing. the things i blog about, i really do use, wear, eat (lol). i think we can just be as real as we want to be. after all it is your blog, u can do whatever the hell you want.
ReplyDeleteBody
ReplyDeleteI just had to post a comment to this blogpost. It was such a great post and it highlighted so many things in the blogsphere. Especially about being "fake" and "real". Especially being new to the blogging world - after viewing so many different fashion blogs you can definitely tell that there are a lot of blogs out there that try to gain as many followers as they can by showing many different luxurious items that they may/may not use in their real life. Esp to the extreme buying items just for blog posts. Where do they get their money from?? Of course a line needs to be drawn to the amount of private info that you are displaying out in the cybersphere - who knows what people are reading your blogs and their motivations? But I totally agree that bloggin is a creative outlet that allows you to blog about what ever you want whenever you want. If readers don't like what they are reading - they can leave your page. Anyway, that is enough for now :) tho I can't top the essay written above by Jo heehe. I'm looking forward to your annoying bloggers post!! :)
Helan/ Halen/ Nelah,
ReplyDeleteI said I would kick myself out but I'm here again to read what others has said. Gosh... this is really embarrassing.
I couldn't stop laughing at Kim's comment about putting a chicken on one's head and there'll still be comments about how beautiful one looks. Bessie also cracked me up about "cool top. I follow you, you follow me". I've been getting these comments particularly when I decided to check out Independent Fashion Bloggers (I think that's what it's called) and was bombarded with dozens of these emails. Mad!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to think I'm not the only one who wonders about how some bloggers churn out new outfits day after day. I'm sure my readers get flipping bored seeing the same shoes/bags/clothes from my closet!
Great post (again) Nelah! I think there is def a fine line between the blogging world and my the information I choose to divulge. It was a big step for me just to state my name which I didn't even do on purpose..lol
ReplyDeleteI def wear everything I buy and blog about...and I recently asked the question if people really do wear what they blog about IRL....because some outfits I see- I think to myself...that's cute but REALLY- are you REALLY going to wear that out in the real world? but whatever floats their boat!!!
I blog because I love fashion and love sharing what I buy and deals/sales with other women. There are so many haters out there that "judge" us bloggers for whatever reason ...I just don't understand why they continue reading and commenting (rudely).
I shop a LOT and always have. I have the budget for it and have always loved showing my latest finds....so for me- blogging is just my outfit/sales journal....
I do find it really helpful that there is a tight petite community that helps each other find what fits and what looks good :)
Oh and I am very private...even tho I show my face and people know my name. I don't like to divulge where I live, my occupation or anything else that is too personal...some people are annoyed by that but that's just how I prefer it!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing post! I burst out laughing when you pointed out the extent that some people go to for looking 'oh so fashionable' for their blogs - as a new blogger I just couldn't see myself having the time or effort lol! I'm with you on the personal info thing I believe only reveal what you want but what you to should be genuine and come from the heart which in your case does :) x
ReplyDelete