..Everlasting Love..?

I am not a relationship expert nor a marriage guru. I do not consider my marriage to be a successful one either because my husband and I have only been married for 6 years.

Last week, I had a conversation with one of my friends who has recently started dating this one guy she met. I wish her the very best in her new relationship because she went through a lot in the past and I want her to meet the guy who treats her with love and respect. Before she met this guy, she told me that she was very lonely and wanted to settle down with someone. She asked how she would know if a person is right for her and how to make it last. I told her that you would feel right in your heart when she meets that person. I just didn't know what else to tell her. As far as making a relationship last, marriage is not a way to guarantee that love will last once two people are married. It takes a whole nine yard to make marriage last a lifetime and not many couples live together until death do them apart in reality.

As I get older, I realize there is no such happily ever after stories. I enjoy the scene of old couple holding hands or quietly enjoy each other company in a quiet corner in the park. Most people would go...Awwww..they are so lucky to have such a lasting and strong marriage. Little do they know.. behind those smiles, there were tears..behind those laughters, there were pains. As I look at them with my grown-up mind, I am certain that they must have gone through a lot..dealing with several challenging circumstances before they get to this point.

Maintaining a relationship (regardless of being in marriage or not) is a full time job and around the clock work. Relationship sometimes is even more complicated the longer you know someone. You would think that you know you loved one better the longer you stay with that person..that is not always the case. You can feel distant..feel disrespect..feel unwanted.

With the presence of in-laws, your own parents, friends, baby and other external factors can sometimes add strains in you relationship. When you are married to someone, you are also married yourself to his whole family unless you get along really well with his family or his parents are dead. I am very fortunate to have wonderful sets of parents, they give us a lot of space and will not intervene unless we ask them to. I know it is not easy for them and there are things they want to say but I appreciate the space and privacy they give us and let us handle things as a couple.

Communication also plays a crucial role in marriage. It seems to get worse the longer a couple spends years together and it will eventually lead to all kind of issues.

Everyone dreams of a lasting relationship but it doesnt always happen that way. One thing that I told my friend is - keep some love for herself. You can love someone with all your heart but you will have to learn to love yourself as well. We can't foresee what future might bring but as long as you have some love and faith in yourself..you will have the strenght to move on.