Love Diary: Dream comes true~**

Do you believe in a "dream"? I never did so until......it became a reality.......a sweet reality. If you have read my blog from the very beginning, you may know that I was not born to be a mother and I never wanted to have a child...a.k.a. I didn't really like children. The thought of me having a baby literally gave me a nightmare and I broke out in hives. I would rather have a dog, a cat, a rabbit or some fishes around, but not those little people.

Please listen to this song while reading - sooooo beautiful ;)

My life went on, I continued to enjoy my childless life spending money on myself, traveling with my husband, eating out five days a week, spoiling ourselves rotten with a brand new luxurious car and doing all kind of things until the year I turned 20 something something (please use your imagination and some highly trained mathematical skills).

As much as I hate to think how old I was at that point, I knew it was time to take thing seriously and make one of the biggest decisions in one woman's life...do I want or not want a child? If I were to have a child, I would want to have one before I turned 30. My husband has always wanted a child, in our four years of marriage, I made sure to NEVER NEVER and NEVER miss a single dose of birth control no matter how drunk or tired I was. A child was a strange and scary little person to me and I felt awkward being around them for any period longer than 30 seconds, I started feeling dizzy.

One month went by, two months went by, three months went by...finally in the same month of my birthday, I had decided to give it a shot and stopped the pills. I remember how nervous I was the day I took that last pill. The idea was to see "what could happen?", I was not serious about it. I had been on birth control pills since I got married so it was roughly 4 years, neither my husband or I expected my reproductive organs to start the miracle right away but it did (it would not be fair to not give some credits to the hub, it took two for this to happen obviously). I conceived towards the end of that week!! All it took was a one time deal, really.

Right on my birthday when I turned 20 something something, I had this STRANGEST dream of a little girl..she seemed to be about 3 years old with very fair skin, short light brown hair, brown eyes. She was the prettiest little girl I had ever seen in my dream and reality. Odd enough she didn't call me mother but I knew she's my child. I woke up that morning and didn't tell anyone about my strange dream. I kept thinking how odd it was and still remember her precious face up to these days. In my whole life, I couldn't remember dreaming about children. Later on that day, I called my husband and told him about my dream, we thought it would be neat if I were to become pregnant one day and our baby turned out to be a girl and look just like that little girl.

Little did I knew, I was carring "that child" in my belly.......

One month past by, no sign of my cycle..I was all cool and calm, and NOT even thought I could be pregnant. All I thought was that my cycle could be late becausey it might take my body/hormones some adjustment and it may only be delayed. However my husband and I went to buy a home pregnancy test kit for the fun of it, there were two in a box and I used one that same evening..it turned out negative but I drew a second red line next to it just to fool my husband lol. We had a good laugh that night.

Two months past by, still no sign of period...this time I freaked out but still did NOT think I could be pregnant. On top of that I had been having these strange symptoms only in the evening like nausea and exhaustion. I had this strange craving of duck noodles soup as well (I hadn't had one in 4 years since moving to the US), luckily one and only Thai restaurant in town made it (thank youuuuu for saving my belly!!!!! ). I also felt dead tired by the time I got home from work..I laid on a couch like I just finished a marathon. I felt bloated most of the time and my belly somewhat grew a bit bigger. Could it be that I had a tumor growing inside!?!?

I was so scared but didn't tell anyone about my symptoms. I seriously thought I was sick and going to die lol. Still did Not think about pregnancy just one bit. I called my OB Gyn the next day, a nurse asked if I already did a pregnancy test at home..I said yes but it was negative. She said wait two more weeks and try again, if it still showed negative then I should come in. At that point, I started to think I could be pregnant considering all those weird symptoms that occurred in the evening but heck...I had only heard about morning sickness not evening sickness. When I arrived work that day, I spent time looking up pregnancy symptoms line by line..my heart was pounding like crazy!!!

It seemed like I could really have a bun in my oven. I called my husband, he didn't think I was but I started to believe my guts. Two weeks could not arrive quick enough, my patience and curiosity said I gotta find out tomorrow!!!!

To be continued ......